When I was a teenager and young adult, I didn’t think I wanted kids, despite having always liked them and enjoyed being with them. I ended up becoming an elementary school teacher and have found things to like about every age I’ve taught from preschool to ninth grade. When I got married, I thought that I would want kids for sure, but in some nebulous future. Future-me would want them even if present-me didn’t have any desire for them. Maybe in 4-5 years or so.
Well, it’s the future and I am still on the fence. Love my nieces, but also love to give them back. Love my students, but also love to go home. Love my free time and my time with my husband. People say it’s different if it’s yours, priorities change, etc.
Maybe there are people out there who wanted kids and regret having them, but human psychology militates against this happening frequently or pervasively. Alternatively, maybe there are people who never wanted kids and don’t regret not having them.
And maybe people who are on the fence like me fall on both sides.
Although Mr. LL and I are all frugal now, money isn’t what keeps us from making the leap into totally wanting kids NINE MONTHS FROM NOW. Maybe in a year or two. (Which is pretty much what we’ve been saying for about 6 years now.) I’ve taught in both Title I schools and private schools. There are delightful, happy, and well-adjusted kids everywhere, regardless of socioeconomic status. I believe that children cost as much as you are willing to spend on them. It’ll cost some amount more than we currently spend, but we will have to decide when the time comes just how much that amount is.
I think human nature being what it is, in the future I will probably not regret having kids if I have them, but will probably regret not having them. This is just for me, someone who is ambivalent about having kids, but with my ambivalence a little closer to the having kids side.